I picked up a super cheapy MP3 player from Rite-Aide to give me something to listen to besides the hip hop music playing in the gym.
An observation I made: I loaded my MP3 with a ton of music I thought would inspire me on my work out. I picked music I could sing to or that made me want to shake a tail feather. Either or would be good. Well- As I was getting on the treadmill, one of my fav. songs popped on. What it was is not important. What is important is that it's fun, positive, and spunky! I started jogging like nobody's business. The next song that came on is also a song that I love. I know all the words and usually put the volume up LOUD! every time I hear it. The thing is, it's a real "FUCK YOU" kinda song. You know the kind I'm talking about. So, I'm singing along and next thing you know I'm feeling really tired and drained. It was almost instant. Huh, that's weird, I just got on this thing... Next song comes on and it's another happy fun song. Suddenly I feel better and my energy is back. Maybe, just maybe what I am listening to matters. I know I loved the song before, but the f you words really apply to what is happening in my life right now. I really felt that anger and frustration as I sang the lyrics. I brought myself down.
SO! From now on. No more f*you songs at the gym. Or in general, at least until I'm in a better place. I don't need anything to bring me down.
After my work out, I went for a walk outside. The drizzle was refreshing and I really got a good feeling. I felt really good about myself for the first time in a long time. Maybe it's because of the positive changes I'm making. Maybe it's the adrenaline from the work out. Either way, it felt great.
I haven't figured out how to use this blog thing all together, but I wanted to share this song. It's how I felt tonight and it felt really good. :) Some of you may know it, some may not. It's the lyrics that matter.
About my diet. UH. I need to find another word that describes how I'm eating. I'm just being careful about what I eat. What is hard is that I have the baby and he's such a handful! I promised myself that I would eat breakfast from now on to fuel my day. Here is the thing.. Usually I only eat one meal a day and I have to eat it fast because Santi needs "fill in the blank" By the time I eat, I'm starving and I inhale my food. This usually occurs around 10pm when he's finally asleep. I'm so tired from the day's events that I normally fall asleep right after I eat. Bad bad habit. I know. I also have been eating things that are "easy". Microwave food, nuggets in the oven while I do something else. I mean- I will pop open a can of corn and eat it cold out of the can because I'm hungry and tired and have something else that is more important to do than eating.
So basically, my metabolism is all screwy and confused and I have to reassure my body that it will be eating again soon, and regularly so that it can stop hoarding the fat. My challenge is going to be learning to prioritize my eating with my baby's play time. I manged today, but it wasn't easy. He's just started to crawl and he gets into everything!! I need to monitor him and heaven forbid he can't see mom. Oy vey!
Challenge number 2. When I eat breakfast, I am hungry all day. I have to find time to do meal prep for snacks so that I don't cheat and go for something "easy" again and end up screwing up my diet. For example, I bought some almonds. Healthy enough, but not when you eat the whole bag because you were hungry- which is classic me. I don't mean the little single serving bag either. I'm really trying to break bad habits. Binging is one of them.
I'm tempted to get on the scale and weigh myself. I know that if I do that I will be disappointed that I haven't lost weight. I know it would be unrealistic to think that I would have lost even one pound after only two days of diet and exercising but I guess this is an example of setting unrealistic goals for myself and then binging because I failed. I will wait until Tuesday for my results whoop!!
I'm going to post a picture of myself in the next couple of days. I think It's important to see my body progress as I do this. Also, I was watching some chick on youtube and she had her before pic up and then I saw her after- WOW! She went from 227? pounds to a size 4 and like 125 pounds. She looks amazing. Those before pictures.. they looked just like me. I mean all you had to do was swap my head with hers and make the boobies a little bigger and BAM!! That's my body!! I felt like if she could do it, then I can too. So, maybe one of you will feel that way too. Maybe one of you has the same "problem pockets" or will feel better about loosing weight and just doing it after you see me doing it.
What are some of your challenges with dieting? Have you seen anyone loose weight and felt inspired to do it too? (Share the web link if you have one!)
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