Week 3- Grocery Shopping

So today was a little frustrating. My little one is teething and is having a really tough time of it. I have not really gotten a decent night's sleep in a few days. I've been trying to look up some good diet foods the last few days and a GF of mine shared a diet plan with me that I want to try out. Researching a healthy lifestyle is hard when Santi's naps are shorter and shorter due to his sore little mouth. I cram what I can in between washing bottles, mixing formula, laundry, picking up his toys and brushing my teeth..
This week I've decided to really amp up my fruit and veggie intake. I popped over to the grocery store and did some shopping. I was a little distracted, unfortunately, as I was shopping. Santi had a melt down on the way to the market, in the market, and in the parking lot- which meant I needed to turn back and go home. He fell asleep just as we pulled into the drive way, which was just in time for a little Mommy melt down too. Being a single Mom is a lot harder then I thought it would ever be. My son has not seen his father in almost two months, which means I haven't had Dad's help for that long either. I'm okay with it for the most part, the juggling the baby that is. It's just sometimes, I get so pissed when I'm running out of formula or he needs diapers and I need five minutes to run in the market- and It's just me- and I can't leave him in the car while he sleeps or cries- and then BOOM! Frustration, Anger and Resentment kick in. It's never against my baby boy. He's a sweet angel and my heart breaks that he's in so much discomfort. My hostility goes strait to his Dad bailing out on us and that's usually when I have to let myself cry it out for a couple of minutes before I'm back to being super mommy.
I headed back to the market, distracted by both of our melt downs so I know I forgot a lot and spent too much money. Note to self- don't go shopping while you're frazzled. Eggghhh. I bought a ton of fresh fruit and veggies for me to snack on through the day. I also picked up some rice cakes, DHA fortified whole wheat bread, non fat/low sodium pop corn, wheat water crackers, and some Acai/ Blueberry Blend juice- all to help me along with my diet. I have a bad habit of buying a ton of fresh produce and letting it all go to waste. So I'm making a promise to do some major food prep for the rest of the week tomorrow. I'll be making soup, cutting up fruits and veggies for snacking and salading so that none of it goes to waste!
Lastly. I bought Alli. I don't know if I'm going to use it, but I bought it just in case I want to try it out. I've been curious about it and it's supposed to be used in conjunction with your diet to help drop the pounds a little faster. I have to read more on it and then I'll decide. I'm really bad at taking pills too. Super duper bad for that matter. So I saved the receipt and we shall see. I will let you all know if I give it a shot or not.
Okay, lastly for real this time. When I got to the market this first time, as I pulled in I saw a woman who used to work in my office. She was the sweetest kindest person ever and one of the many people whom I've missed. Normally, I would have been jumping for joy at the chance run in and of course- to show off my little one. This time, not so much. I felt like shit, I look disheveled, and my baby was crying. The last thing I wanted to do was have a reunion in the parking lot. We ended up leaving anyway- but on my next trip to the market I kept wishing that I would not run into anyone I know. Especially since now my eyes were swollen and puffy from crying. What happened? I ran into my friend whom I have not seen in almost 2 years. I literally told him, "I'm sorry, I look like shit and I feel like shit. I'm going to ignore you and pretend we never ran into one another and promise to call you soon. Okay?" He laughed and asked how the baby was. I on the other hand was totally serious. I think the grocery store checker noticed the look on my face and said, "Hey! She's ignoring you, okay??" and then chuckled. That was totally rude of me. I know it. Could have totally been prevented too. How? Well, part of feeling better about myself on the inside, needs to start on the outside too. I was wearing sweat pants that hug my stomach in an very unflattering way, an ill fitting tank with a worse fitting bra, a smelly hoodie, flip flops, my hair was tossed in a bun on top of my head, don't get me started on my face plus my eyes were red from crying. I need to start taking care of the outside too. Seriously. Fashion policing myself hard. I know all my clothes are still not fitting my right, but I can do stuff to look better and I don't. I hang out all day in my jammies or sweats. My hair is a wreck and make up is a memory. I've not tweezed my brows in two months and the pedi /mani last occured one week before my baby was born. It's time to take of the outside too. So, I'm giving myself one week to:
a. Buy 2 new bras that don't have nursing flaps on them
b. Wash the grey right out of my hair
c. Tweeze my uni
The next time I run into someone I have not seen in forever, they are going to be welcomed with a hug and a smile, tell me I look great, and I'm showing off my baby. I swear it!! No more head down in shame bs. That era is over.
xo me :)